The First Noel
by HecateA
Summary: In which Leo and Piper find out some devastating news about Jason. Oneshot.


**HAPPY CHRISTMAS IN JULY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters portrayed below, and the story doesn't canonically fit into the time stream that RR gives us in Lost Hero or even the story about Buford. Please enjoy regardless. **

* * *

**The First Noel**

* * *

Since Mr D was gone, Chiron had full control of camp's weather and for the holidays, that meant a light powdering of snow. Not enough to make it cold or to make the ground slippery during training; just enough for camp to look like a postcard and for a _scrunch, scrunch _sound to come up under their feet.

"I don't know what the white Christmas deal is," Piper said as they walked back from their chilliest game of Capture the Flag yet. Snowflakes peppered her hair and the tip of her nose was red. Correction: there wasn't enough snow to make camp cold, except for those raised in California. "I suppose it's more romantic, but there's nothing wrong with green either."

"Same," Leo said. "This is more unlike my Christmases than it is _like _them. But I guess we're a minority. Right Jason?"

Jason didn't say anything.

"Jason?" Piper asked, calling him back to earth.

"Yeah, sorry," Jason said. "It's just that I… I can't contribute to this conversation."

Leo arched an eyebrow. "Out of minutes?"

"I've never celebrated Christmas," Jason said.

Piper nearly tripped over her own foot and Leo froze.

"What do you _mean _you've never had Christmas before?" She demanded.

Jason looked at his shoes and scratched the back of his head. "I just, I just haven't. I mean, I grew up at Camp Jupiter. There were enough roman festivals and holidays all the time, they didn't need to add a Christian one."

"But it's _Christmas," _Leo said. "I've had some pretty rotten ones and even _I _can say that Christmas is an essential!"

Jason shrugged. "That's not how the wolves and the praetors saw it."

Piper blinked at him and ran a quick fact check. "You've never had Christmas before. You've never been in a weird nativity scene play. You've never shaken Christmas presents to figure out what's in them? You've never spent your entire day in pajamas watching old Christmas movies and eating popcorn and candy canes."

"No," Jason said.

Piper and Leo turned to each other. They had the same idea.

"Then we are going to make your first Christmas _ex-traordinary," _Leo said.

* * *

"Alright Jason, time to take that Christmas virginity of yours," Leo said. "Pop the holly, so you might say."

"Leo!" Piper protested.

"Okay, okay," Leo said. "For real though. The first step of Christmas is to decorate a Christmas tree. This announces to everyone that you are in the holiday spirit and unstoppable. As you can see I have strung a bunch of old light bulbs on this chicken wire and these spare cables that I found in the forge and Piper has hot-glued string to pine cones , paper snowflakes, and bunches of holly. Also we have stolen candy canes from the closest department store. As you can also see we also have a tree."

"Thalia's tree," Jason said looking up at the bright green pine.

"Yes," Leo said. "The objective is to put the decorations –chicken wire and hot-glued pine cones- on the tree."

Jason scratched his head. He debated for a while if he wanted to ask _why _that was, but ultimately decided against it.

"I'm not sure that Thalia would like her tree being used as a Christmas decoration," Jason said.

"Dude, you're her little brother," Piper said. "You need to learn to use that against her and get what you want."

"Yeah. So stop complaining and grab some ornaments," Leo said. "If you're good, I may even let you put the star on top of the tree after."

* * *

Jason frowned at the envelopes sitting on his doorframe when he stumbled for breakfast. Though he hadn't eaten his weight in eggs and bacon yet, Jason was functional enough to notice that they were addressed to him.

MR. JASON GRACE

CABIN 1, ALCOVE 1

CAMP HALF-BLOOD

LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK

The return addresses were written similarily.

-Piper McLean

Cabin 10, the messy bunk

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island, NY

-Mrs Annabeth Chase

Cabin 8, Back right corner

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island, NY

-His Majesty Leo Valdez

Cabin 9, Bunk 4.b.2 (2012 model)

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island

-Some Romans (probably that Reyna chick you talk about, and maybe Bobby idk)

Somehwere Roman

Camp Caesar Salad

Probably California?

All of these enveloped contained Christmas cards- either store bought, or hand-made like Piper's.

They'd even put stamps on the envelopes while pretending to mail them.

* * *

"THREE FRENCH HENS!"

"What makes French hens French?" Jason said. "I'm super sure that birds have no sense of nationality."

"TWO TURTLEDOVES!"

"What even is a turtle dove," Piper said.

"Piper you're going to ruin my finale," Leo said. He cleared his throat.

"AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!"

* * *

Will Solace

Cabin 7, Bunk (the one with all the chicks what up)

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island, NY

* * *

Clarisse La Rue

Cabin 5, Bunk why do you need to know this punk?

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island, NY

* * *

Mrs. Katie L. Gardner and the Children of Demeter

Cabin 4, Bunk near the rose bushes

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island, NY

* * *

Mr and Mr Connor and Travis Stoll

Cabin 11

The Death Star

In a galaxy far, far away

* * *

"Adeste fideles læti triumphantes,  
Venite, venite in Bethlehem.  
Natum videte  
Regem angelorum:-"

"Leo I'm going to stop you right there," Jason said. "That is _not _how you pronounce Latin."

"But you know the song?" Leo said.

Jason nodded. "Venite adoremus, venite adoremus, venite adoremus, Dominum. Deum de Deo, lumen de lumine, Gestant puellæ viscera."

"You don't need to brag," Leo muttered.

Jason clapped his back. "Stick to languages that you can pronounce."

Leo's face lit up. "FELIZ NAVIDAD!"

* * *

"Are you kidding," Jason said.

"I am very serious," Piper said.

"I may be a non-connoisseur-"

"A Christmas virgin!" Leo called out.

"-But I'm 99% sure that I'm too old for this," Jason said.

"Jason Grace, if you didn't have Christmas as a child than we have to work with what we have and compensate _now," _Piper said. "You are writing a letter to Santa Clause whether you want to or not!"

* * *

"LEO VALDEZ. Singing The Little Drummer Boy does not provide you an excuse to bang on random shit like a drum. I will literally shoot you," Piper scowled.

* * *

"So the cookie-cutter?"

"Goes on the cookie dough," Piper said.

"And you just push on it wherever however you want?"

"Yes Jason."

He didn't move. He looked from her to the Christmas tree cookie-cutter in his hand to the dough stretched out on the counter of the Big House kitchen, at his flour covered jeans, and then back again.

"Mother of gods…" Piper said to herself. "Thank gods I got the pre-made dough…"

She put her hands on Jason's and pushed the cookie cutter straight through the dough.

"Oh," Jason said. "Just straight? I thought you had to…"

"I don't want to know, sweetie," Piper said. "Now you've got the physics of it, everything is going to be okay."

She had mixed feelings about how decorating would go. It ended up going well, but when Piper stole a handful of Smarties for herself, Jason frowned.

"Those were for the cookies," he said.

"Yeah but the baker wants some too," Piper said.

Jason frowned more.

"I got _so much candy, _Jason," Piper said. "It's ridiculous. We're not rationing, here."

"Oh, okay," Jason said. "Never mind then."

Piper held the bowl out to him and Jason poured a handful to his mouth.

"You rationed at Camp?" Piper asked with a frown.

"In times of war, yes," Jason said, his mouth full of chocolaty goodness.

"Boy, you are going to have the time of your life at Christmas dinner…" Piper said to herself, picking up their decorated cookies and slapping them onto the cookie platter.

* * *

She was _not _letting Jason use the oven.

"O CHRISTMAS TREE O CHRISTMAS TREE; THY LEAVES ARE SO UN-"

"Leo Valdez are you _killing a bird _or trying to sing_?" _Piper asked. "Because whatever it is, stop."

* * *

_Dear Santa Clause_

_Am I even spelling this right? Whatever._

**_For__ Christmas I woul_d like **(crossed out)

_Apparently I'm supposed to insert some kind of introduction to butter you up? Like inquiring about your… reindeer? (Is Valdez pulling my leg on this?) Piper says that she used to start hers asking about if the elves got maternity leave and I guess that's pretty pertinent seeing as the rest of the world has at least made an effort to end slavery and you haven't from what I understand? Apparently this will all be clear to me after we watch some Christmas movies on Chiron's Netflix account, but for now this seems like a total lack on behalf of a guy who's supposed to be a role model and hero for little kids. _

_Anyways, for Christmas I would like… how many things am I allowed to ask? Do I make a list and does metaphorical Santa Clause pick or..? I like that idea. Okay, here's a list._

· _I hope that Julia gets her bicycle fixed. It may have already happened since I disappeared, but she missed that thing so badly. She was heart-broken when that chariot ran over it. And if you could get her training wheels that didn't squeak so badly as the old ones all the time I'm sure she'd love that too. Do I have to be specific about colour and stuff too? How detailed should this be? Whatever, her favourite colour is pink if that's pertinent._

· _I hope that Hannibal gets over that toe fungus so that Bobby can relax. If not can you get Hannibal some proper veterinary help, and Bobby a new stress toy? He broke his last one during the war. _

· _I'm torn between asking you to get Dakota some Kool-Aid so that he can enjoy it, or ask you not to so that he might get over that stuff. I'm just going to throw the idea out there and rely on you to make the proper judgement call._

· _Gwen could use new beads for her charm bracelet. She lost a bunch when it broke, and she had a collection going so that would be nice. _

· _Piper and Leo are writing their own fake-Santa-Clause letters so I'm just going to redirect you to their lists._

___-Get Octavian fuck-all because odds are that he doesn't deserve shit._

· _Please just tell Reyna that I'm okay. That's what I really want out of all of this. I know that I can't reach out to her, but if any divine or semi-magical creature can that would be great. I want her to know that I'm okay because then I'll know that she'll relax a bit. I guess that the true purpose of this all is for Reyna to be okay. She must be so worried and stressed and overworked… she'll be furious when I get back. I've failed her so badly. Gods, how could I even _approach _her after all of this? This is getting long. I'm rambling. Just take care of Reyna for me please._

· _Piper has informed me that you're supposed to order gifts for yourself in Christmas letters. Oh. In that case, I'm really missing that stupid Pikachu toy that they got for me at an arcade. Never mind, that's a stupid request since I want the one I already have and not a new one. Okay, well, I guess that I am tired of always borrowing basketballs from the Apollo guys. A basketball would be cool. Or seeing Thalia again (although I think that's too big of a wish)._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Jason Grace (Leo says I have to put my full Roman epithets here, do I? Piper says no. I'll leave it at that.)_

* * *

Lieutenant Thalia Grace

Hunters of Artemis Camp Site, Tent 2

Artemis won't let me say where I am to boys

* * *

Chiron (and Mr D if he were here)

Big House, Room 7

Camp Half-Blood

Long Island, NY

* * *

"What are these?" Jason asked as Piper handed him a bag. "I thought that we were just reading old stories tonight…"

"We are," Piper said. "But you're going to need this."

Jason pulled something strangely fuzzy out of the bag and nearly threw it across the room in revulsion. "What _is that thing?"_

"It's a Christmas sweater!" Piper said. "We picked it just for you."

Jason had to think of his next move carefully. If he said thank you to Piper, she'd know he was lying because she saw through his soul like Lupa did. If he didn't acknowledge the sweater, he'd look like a jerk.

"Actually, it's an ugly Christmas sweater," Leo said. "Regardless, we need you to put it on your body right now."

"Why do people purposefully wear sweaters that are ugly?" Jason said.

Piper shrugged. "I've never understood it, but I'm all onboard for a day of unprejudiced warmth and cosiness."

Jason examined his particular sweater more closely. It was an awful apple green with red reindeers knitted into it. Snowflakes were a trim at the collar, neck and sleeves.

"We decided to get a mildly ugly one," Piper said. "Just because you're a beginner."

"Christmas Virgin!" Leo shouted.

"This is mild?" Jason said examining the sweater. It got worst once Jason realised that there were _jingle bells _knitted into the sweater.

Leo's sweater just about blinded Jason.

* * *

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas  
Just like the ones I used to know  
Where the tree-tops glisten and children listen  
To hear sleigh bells in the snooooooooooooooooooooooooooow…."

"Leo stop you're from Texas."

* * *

When Jason answered his door groggily, it was because Piper and Leo had knocked. Both of them were beaming and giddy like little kids, and wearing red Santa Claus hats.

"Well there's Piper's Christmas present," Leo said nudging his head towards Jason's bare chest. "Get some clothes on, Grace. We've got things to do and places to go."

"What time is it?" Jason asked, worried by the lack of light.

"6:00 AM," Piper said. "We have to go check the Christmas tree."

"The Christmas tree?" Jason asked.

_"Thalia's tree, _if you insist," Piper said. She looked adorable today. She was wearing jeans and a red shirt with holes in her shoulders. From her Santa hat, two braids poked out. The excitement on her face really stole the cake, though.

"Sheesh. Told you he was a virgin."

Jason got dressed and was sent back to go find a red or green shirt. Piper nodded proudly when he came out wearing an army green thermal shirt. Leo ran out ahead of them, but Piper dangled at Jason's arm and put her head on his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Merry Christmas," Jason repeated. The greeting sounded weird in his mouth. "Did Valdez wake you up too?"

Piper arched an eyebrow. "I had an alarm set."

Under Thalia's tree, presents were gathered. And from the lowest branch, three red socks (that looked hand-sewn) filled with whatever were dangling.

"What's this?" Jason asked.

"Didn't you figure it out as we went along?" Leo asked. "The presents go _under _the tree?"

"What?" Jason asked. "I thought the trees _were _the present?"

"No, no, no," Leo said. "You got it all wrong. Trees under the present, and stockings –that's the sock things- on the mantel piece. We don't have one of those though, so we made-do. Piper made the set-up cute."

"I…" Jason felt infinitely guilty. "I didn't get you guys anything. I didn't… I hadn't caught on that you were supposed to… get people presents at Christmas…"

"It's okay," Piper said. "We knew that you didn't know, but we wanted you to have a first Christmas in which you didn't freak out about gifts."

"And we also knew that you would feel bad, so Piper and I bought each other gifts with your name on the tag. You can pay us back later," Leo said.

Jason grinned, somewhat relieved.

"I'll make it up to you guys next year," he promised.

"Does that mean that you like Christmas enough to do it again?" Piper asked, smiling.

"Only with you guys," he said pulling her towards him and smiling at Valdez.

"Wow," Leo said. "He says this and we haven't even opened presents yet."

* * *

"The first Noel the angel did say  
Was to certain poor shepards in fields as they lay:  
In fields where they lay a keeping their sheep  
On a cold winter's night that was so deep.  
Noel Noel Noel Noel  
Born is the King of Israel."

"Oh, sure," Leo said. "When I sing everyone's like '_shut up Leo' _and _'you sound like you're dying Leo'. _But when Piper sings everyone claps."

"That's because Piper can sing," Jason said. "Like _really well." _

Leo crossed his arms. Piper stuck her tongue out.

* * *

"See why I told you to go easy at lunch?" Leo laughed.

"Turkey is my favourite food ever. This is what my ambrosia will taste like now."

"With or without cranberry sauce?" Leo asked.

_"Covered in it." _Jason said. "I'm so full, but I want to keep eating…"

"Sorry man. No vomitoriums here." Leo said. "Just turkey hangovers and pain."

"That's not something the Romans _actually _did," Jason said.

"Oh. Whatever. Wash it down with some more eggnog," Leo said.

"Does the eggnog help with anything?"

"No, but at this point it's go big or go home," Leo said.

Jason laughed.

* * *

"Jingle bells, Chiron smells, Peleus laid an egg!

Argo II has lost a sail and Gaia burned the earth- HEY!"

"Leo what the fuck?" Piper said.

"I liked the one about Noel," Jason said, running his hand up and down her back.

* * *

"Did you have a good Christmas?" Piper said as they walked around Camp after the Apollo Cabin's (supposedly) Annual Christmas Carol Camp Fire.

"I did,"Jason said. "Or at least I think I did. I had a blast, anyways."

"Good," Piper smiled. "But there's still one Christmas tradition that we haven't covered…"

"Which one?" Jason asked.

"Look up," Piper said. That's when he realised that she'd been steering him towards the Big House's front door.

He did. A kind of plant with white berries was hanging over the doorframe.

"That," Piper said. "Is mistletoe."

"Oh,"Jason said. "_That _I know about."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

* * *

"FA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

"Are you going to say anything?" Jason asked.

"Nah," Piper shrugged. "Let it go. It's Christmas."

"-LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


End file.
